Dear money

Dear money,

Okay, I'm starting to realize how mean I am to you.  No wonder you want to stay away!

When you're here, I don't look you in the face.  Sometimes I want to lock you up and keep you a prisoner, and not let you go on to where you need to be next.  I take you for granted and don't even remember to thank you for coming.  It's more like, "Finally!  I've been waiting for you.  Why weren't you here earlier?"

I wouldn't treat a friend that way!  And aren't you a friend to me?

When you're not here, I'm so frightened that I never think to open the front door and look for you.  I don't call you and welcome you, invite you to come back like any other friend I haven't seen in a while.  No, I just assume that you've abandoned me forever.  I'm like a neurotic girlfriend who always thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her.

If I do call on you, it's all classic Jewish mother:  "Where have you been?  You know I've missed you.  You never visit.  You never call."  But when you do visit, I whine:  "You're staying such a short time.  It's not enough.  It's never enough!"

Well, enough to all that!  It's a sign of how much you truly care for me, money,that you come around at all!

I've been a bad friend, and I want to be better.  I'll welcome you.  I'll stop denigrating you behind your back ("Who needs filthy money?  I'm above all that.") and fawning to your face.

Now, how would I treat a true friend...?